boye

This is akin all those hot takes about the 2k bug being an hoax:

"Remember when they told us every computer was going to crash on 1/1/01 and there would be chaos and then nothing happened?"

Yeah, I remember. And I'm sure every programmer and sysadmin that contributed the billion person/hour global effort to prevent it also remembers.

No one talks about acid rain anymore, either. And that's a very good thing.

see also START and START II, which significantly reduced nuclear stockpiles

International cooperation is actually so effective that most people don’t even notice it happening, and then erroneously believe it can’t solve anything.

Fixing issues before they develop into actual disasters is such an underappreciated thing it hurts at all levels.

We don't talk about acid rain because there isn't any more acid rain because when acid rain started happening and we learned that the cause was mainly sulphur oxide and carbon monooxide from car exhausts, countries all over the world made it a law that car companies had to produce cars that produced less exhaust with better effectivenes (burning the fuel all the way to CO2 instead of the halfassed CO) and oil rafineries to remove the sulphur from the gasoline in the first place.

We don't talk about computers crashing because of the turn of the century, because thousands of programmers worked very hard to write updates and patches for Every Single Program humanity as a whole used back in 1999 and then somehow managed to failtest, distribute, and update every single device and system, be it an online or offline one before the midnight of the 1st january of 2000.

On a much smaller scale, no one ever commenta or notices cleaners and housekeepers doing their job - be it at home or at whole buildings - because they always make sure that there's nothing to notice. But don't be fooled - at any point of your life you are one week of them not doing away from swimming in trash and filth with nothing to eat and nothing clean to wear. Only then you would notice.

Now it's time to do that thing again and make sure that we don't kill our whole planetary ecosystem within the next century.

this blew up so lightning round:

"as long as they're not posting it publicly"/"well its not always horny dont assume its horny": you're missing the point, this is a post about how horny is an emotion of equal artistic value to any other and if people want to post their fetish art i think that's fine

"i was raised christian/came from a christian background and this was a hard thing i had to learn but so important"/"the idea of sexual feelings being less worthy of showing is christian": i'm proud of you you're doing great. also that's true

"it's more interesting actually"/"fetish art ends up being better bc people put a lot more focus into their work when they're obsessed with it": you're right

"stop it with the horny jail thing": you're also right

Same kid that attended this Sunday’s church service in full vampire bat costume and screeched loudly anytime someone said his name

Update his two year old brother just handed me a partially squished cockroach

Today’s secret is “if I carry too many things, I die,” and he definitely, for sure did not tell me that specifically because I asked him to pick up his jacket moments beforehand

“Where’s the tiger?” the five year old asks, peering around the zoo. “I don’t see him!”

“Probably he had to get his covid shot,” says the three year old, nodding wisely.

How could I possibly forget this exchange

“You can’t play with my skunk,” says the three year old, snatching the toy from the five year old. “Mr. Skunk doesn’t like you.”

“Whoa, whoa,” I say, while driving. “Mr. Skunk likes everyone!”

The three year old makes direct eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. “Except the police,” he says darkly.

Overwhelmed! When the five year old learned that I’m having a bad day today, he immediately asked me to take him home so he can “get us a snack and help with whatever you want to do today.”

The three year old has offered to carry all the backpacks into the house, despite his former statements re: dying if asked to carry his own belongings

Today the two year old stole the headphones I always wear, put them on upside down, and ran away yelling “hi Babydoll!” over and over, which is in fact how I greet him. I did not come here to be roasted by a toddler

I recently put a purple streak in my hair! The three year old says that he loves it. He says he loves my brown hair too, because it’s beautiful. I feel very loved and I am going to bake him cookies about it

The three year old has covid (he’s okay), so I won’t be seeing the children this week :(

Here's another story from last week instead:

“Do you want to come make paper airplanes?” the five year old asks. “I have a book that teaches you how.”

“Sure,” I say, following him upstairs. “I like paper airplanes.”

“It’ll be easy for you,” the five year old assures me, “because you can-- wait. Can you read?”

The three year old has recovered <3

He’s also a little confused by the phrase “playing a trick,” so if he suspects I’m teasing him, he’ll point and yell “you’re tricking!” instead

Today he told me that I’m “always tricking…… kind of like satan”

I have never in my life laughed this hard

Hi! This may actually be the last update on this post because I’m moving cities soon, but with that in mind I have some things to add:

1. The five year old and the three year old both have separate imaginary friends with the same name, which is Speed. They differentiate between Speeds solely by saying “my Speed” or “his Speed.” Yes, it does get confusing
2. The three year old’s Speed has a tragic backstory! His childhood home got destroyed by a meteor when he was very young. He also has some level of magical power, which he uses to resurrect himself whenever he dies, which happens often, sometimes at the three year old’s hand
3. When I asked the three year old about his Speed’s resurrection powers, he told me that yes, Speed does knows how to come back to life; Speed does not, however, enjoy coming back to life (because he knows that he will die again, over and over)
4. Their dad is a general contractor, which means that all three toddlers have a really intense relationship with building blocks and also a working knowledge of construction law, which means that I (an attorney) do live a life where every once in awhile I ask a five year old if he’s building skyscrapers and he tells me no, they’re not zoned for commercial
5. Last time I babysat for them, the three year old let me know that they have a new member of their household! Now I did assume this had something to do with their very pregnant mother, but I was wrong— the new member is a third Speed who belongs, of course, to the two year old. His Speed does not, to my knowledge, resurrect
6. Their baby sister was born two hours after that :)

How old does the sister have to be before she gets a Speed